Reflections of a middle aged mom...

40 sucks. (Sorry mom...I know you REALLY prefer me to say sucks eggs as somehow that seems more polite to you...but, well, tomorrow I turn 40...so feel free to let go...no one blames you anymore for my questionable language... :-)).

It is the kind of birthday that causes one to take stock of one's life. Examine where you've been, where you haven't been, what you've accomplished...and well...the sucky part...what hasn't been checked off the life list.

Admittedly, the tail has wagged the dog a bit in my life. I still wake up occasionally and ask myself questions like, "How did I end up with such a wonderful husband?", "Is this beautiful child REALLY my daughter"...and "I traveled where to bring her home??"

In those two people, my life is very complete. It is the dream that I held for many years. But I realize that I am guilty of running on auto-pilot a good deal of the time. While I don't, for one second, take my family for granted...I am not always great at slowing down and enjoying the small moments...the laugh over macaroni and cheese with Lia or cuddling with Jim and enjoying some trashy reality tv. Those are the moments that make memories for a lifetime. And I am determined, in my new found wisdom of 40, to enjoy them.

So...yeah...I am not thrilled about turning 40. But in taking stock of this life, my life...it is a good one. I am blessed beyond reason with riches that go way beyond the financial or the material realm. I have had more adventure than I could have ever hoped for (and really...I am not an adventure seeking kind of gal). I have a wonderful family and friends that enrich my life more than I could ever explain. My heart is full with anticipation for our second daughter that will join us from China (sometime before my next milestone birthday I hope!)...and the opportunities I have to take some chances and step out of the box so to speak. I feel so lucky to have found a hobby, photography, that brings me so much joy and satisfaction. My life is full and I am happy. In many ways it is not the life I envisioned for myself...but indeed, it is a life full of gifts I could never have been capable of imagining...and I am grateful. I am thankful. I am humbled. I. am. happy. :-)

So feel free, my dear blogger friends, to join me in a celebration of life's little moments...for one day those will be the big moments we reflect on. Join me as I dance like no one's watching. Sing loudly with the car radio. Laugh freely at myself...and only kindly at others (except maybe my mom...she is fun to laugh AT, all in good fun of course! See first paragraph above! :-)). Live mindlfully and creatively. In ALL things be grateful. Love more. Play more. Help more. Just be.

After all...you only turn 39 again once...and I am determined to live every second to the fullest!