Friday, June 19, 2009

Reflections of a middle aged mom...

40 sucks. (Sorry mom...I know you REALLY prefer me to say sucks eggs as somehow that seems more polite to you...but, well, tomorrow I turn 40...so feel free to let go...no one blames you anymore for my questionable language... :-)).

It is the kind of birthday that causes one to take stock of one's life. Examine where you've been, where you haven't been, what you've accomplished...and well...the sucky part...what hasn't been checked off the life list.

Admittedly, the tail has wagged the dog a bit in my life. I still wake up occasionally and ask myself questions like, "How did I end up with such a wonderful husband?", "Is this beautiful child REALLY my daughter"...and "I traveled where to bring her home??"

In those two people, my life is very complete. It is the dream that I held for many years. But I realize that I am guilty of running on auto-pilot a good deal of the time. While I don't, for one second, take my family for granted...I am not always great at slowing down and enjoying the small moments...the laugh over macaroni and cheese with Lia or cuddling with Jim and enjoying some trashy reality tv. Those are the moments that make memories for a lifetime. And I am determined, in my new found wisdom of 40, to enjoy them.

So...yeah...I am not thrilled about turning 40. But in taking stock of this life, my life...it is a good one. I am blessed beyond reason with riches that go way beyond the financial or the material realm. I have had more adventure than I could have ever hoped for (and really...I am not an adventure seeking kind of gal). I have a wonderful family and friends that enrich my life more than I could ever explain. My heart is full with anticipation for our second daughter that will join us from China (sometime before my next milestone birthday I hope!)...and the opportunities I have to take some chances and step out of the box so to speak. I feel so lucky to have found a hobby, photography, that brings me so much joy and satisfaction. My life is full and I am happy. In many ways it is not the life I envisioned for myself...but indeed, it is a life full of gifts I could never have been capable of imagining...and I am grateful. I am thankful. I am humbled. I. am. happy. :-)

So feel free, my dear blogger friends, to join me in a celebration of life's little moments...for one day those will be the big moments we reflect on. Join me as I dance like no one's watching. Sing loudly with the car radio. Laugh freely at myself...and only kindly at others (except maybe my mom...she is fun to laugh AT, all in good fun of course! See first paragraph above! :-)). Live mindlfully and creatively. In ALL things be grateful. Love more. Play more. Help more. Just be.

After all...you only turn 39 again once...and I am determined to live every second to the fullest!

IMG_2785-2

26 comments:

Courtney said...

Happy Birthday. Beautiful post. I love the picture!

Marla said...

Awesome post Kate. Happy Birthday, I hope you have a very special and fun-filled day. I heard that 40 is the new 30, so you let me know if that's true. I'm not far behind you. :)

Love the pic of you and your girl, it makes me smile.

Rachel said...

Happy Birthday Kate! What a beautiful post - you wrote beautifully the way so many (me included) feel. We all need to slow down and enjoy the little things.

Have a great birthday. I'm not far behind you either...

Melissa said...

Happy, happy birthday, a wonderful post and photo...celebrate your day and all the beautiful blessings you have and those still to come.

Jodee Leader said...

Happy Birthday, Kate! I hope the 40 club treats you well. I will be joining you soon!

Amie@WildOlive said...

What a sweet post. And what a darling picture. I pray you have a good one friend.

hugs~
Amie

Kim said...

Kate - Happy Birthday, you took the words right out of my mouth. I too will be joining you in just a few months.

- Kim in DE

Steffie B. said...

Welcome to the 40's club my dear.....it is fabulous! ;)

Half Gaelic, Half Garlic! said...

Have a wonderful Birthday Kate!! I know 40 will be fabulous....it has to be right???

Love that pic of you and Lia.....precious!!!

Lisa

Felicia said...

Beautiful post. Those are great words to live by. 40 is just a number, and the older you get, the better you get.

Love that last photo...that's what life is all about!

Sue said...

Happy Birthday! Your post rings very true. I turned 41 last month and let's just say...enjoy being 40( which was a big deal for me and kinda exciting) because 41 was like "yikes, I'm really getting older!" It's all good though!

Sue : )

a Tonggu Momma said...

Happy (belated) birthday, Kate! I hope it was a wonderful day. And - as my best bud repeatedly reassures me - "the forties are FAB-ulous, dear."

my4andnomore said...

Happy Happy Birthday Kate!!Sorry it's late. I love the picture of you guys. Here's to making each moment count. God Bless, Amber.

Laura said...

I am proud to call you friend. I look forward to making some fun, adventurous memories with you and your family.

Happy 40th Kate, it really isn't that bad!!!

xoxo,
Laura

Joannah said...

I hope you have a wonderful birthday! Aside from a few -ahem - challenges, I'm loving my forties. Life is good.

Enjoy every moment, my friend.

:-)

Jennifer said...

Beautiful post Kate!!! Happy Birthday my FRIEND!!! Celebrate!

I love the picture of you and Lia.

Jen

Kerry said...

Happy Birthday, Kate! Hugs

Deb and Kevin said...

Happy Birthday Kate! Your post has encouraged me that 40 will not be soo bad as I join you in the club next month. Love the photo of you and Lia.

Jboo said...

Happy Birthday! Think you will find your 40s to be some of your best and fave years ever! Enjoy!

Janet

Erin said...

Beautiful words. You are beautiful in every way Kate. Happy Birthday! May your 40's be filled with joy. I am way ahead of you. You seem so young to me... PS I LOVE that photo!!!!

Bridget said...

Happy Belated Birthday Kate!!! Welcome to the forties - they really aren't so bad:) I hope that this is a wonderful year for! Keep enjoying the moment!! Hope this finds you well!

~ Bridget

ps - LOVE the picture!!!!! Two cute girls:)

Chris and Deb said...

Oh belated Happy 40th Kate! Wishing you many more wonderful years ahead!!....I loved this post...beautiful!

Casey said...

Oh sweet love. Look at that picture!! I love it.

Beautiful post! And I completely agree....

Happy 39th Birthday :)

Laurie said...

What a beautiful post! I know what you mean by life being very different than you pictured it but SO full of joy in ways you never imagined! Happy 40th! Trust me, it just keeps getting better! :)

Eloise said...

How did I miss this post?! Egad, I apologize for being late with my birthday wishes. I hope you had a a great birthday and that you're finding joy in life on this side of the hill!

3 Peanuts said...

I know this is so belated.....I missed this post...BUT Happy 40th Birthday!!!!!! What you wrote is so very true ( I am 41) and I really do savor the little things now....that is probably why I have become such a slacker reading and posting in the blog world. I am living the little moments with the people I love.

I love every word that you wrote here:)